new start

I'm officially done with my clerkship.  It feels very, very weird, but I'm done my first professional full-time job.  Honestly, I still can remember, quite vividly even, the first day of work.  I remember feeling nervous, but ready, and confident. I remember shaking hands with our court clerk, Michael, and feel frustrated everytime I failed my judge. "Always something to improve on," he would share with his responsive body language.

And that's how I've ended my time as a clerk. Always something to improve on.  I have financial issues, loads of relationship issues, and too many things on my SGI list to feel like "I got it." Yet, I'm so freaking satisfied. It's not fun, but I certainly enjoy all of my obstacles.  

Turning in my keys . . . very surreal.

Celebratory whiskey from Amanda.

As always, being consumed with so many obstacles, I felt over the past couple of weeks that I've been losing touch with myself. I'm not quite sure what it was, other than letting my environment and circumstances dictate who I was. I recently signed back onto facebook and spent a good hour looking at my photos from SUA. Seeing those pictures, I remembered that I had so many friends that believe in me, no matter what how incapable I may feel about myself.  

I also got a lot of feel-good positive reinforcement (sometimes I desperately need) looking at the messages I received from my friends. Things like "fighting eric," "challenger award," and "the one that saves the day" reminded me that I wanted to be those things again. I forgot that my parents used the word 努力 in describing me (I was also called overly-sensitive, rigid, and clumsy, lol).  At some point I forgot how important hard work was for me. 

In other news, I went to my friends' wedding. It was awesome. Check out the photobooth photos (Lian was right, Heain and Sireth need to model).

talking to the moon

Recently, the stars are shining. Brightly.

Today was a good day.  My day started off humorous. I wanted to wake up early so when I initially woke up and was ready to 二度寝, I made sure to open my Pandora app on my phone in an effort to wake myself up. I was ready to get up until Bruno Mars's Lazy Song came on with: "Today I don't feel like doing anything  ~"

Iya iya iya, kore chigau, wrong song desho!

Anyway, that wasn't the best song to motivate me to get up. But I got up, and I chatted with Fumihiko for a little, which was a really great refresher. Then, I carpooled with Amanda and Kevin to attend the Dover African-American Festival to support the SGI booth there.  As always, it was great to be able to share Buddhism with others.  The drive was three hours one way, so I was pretty tired when I got back.

I was pretty tired after getting back, so I ended up watching a Natalie Portman movie, because, yes, like IU, she is my boy crush. I've been also chanting an hour in the evening.  The last two days I've unexpectedly had off from work because of a power outage at court, so it's given me a lot of time to chant and reflect.

I want to really kick ass at my new job. I want to bring SUA to my job. I want to make the most of my time there and contribute my 110%. 

By the way, me being Setsunai, I've been into Bruno Mars's "Talking to the Moon"

draw strings and 08

Ever since Lauren's gotten me on this diet, I've been losing a lot of weight.  Well, actually, I'm not dropping that much weight, but I'm getting rid of a lot of unnecessary fat. So much so that my pants are no longer fitting me - the waist is too big. And actually, the other day I was able to fit into my 28' khakis that I was ready to throw away.

Part of it is eating less, but also this blood type diet really works. The idea behind is that based on your blood type, certain foods are good and bad for you.  The entire theory rooted in history, and how valid the claims are I do not know.  I'm a blood type A, which, if I remember correctly, is the earliest blood type.  And as a blood type associated with early agrarians, I'm supposed to essentially be a vegetarian.  Meat is not good for me, although poultry is neutral (thank god, I could never go full-on vegetarian).  Leafy greens are really beneficial.

The other blood types developed over time.  Hunters and gatherers, who ate a lot of meat, are associated with type Bs.  ABs are the last to develop.  Again, I'm not sure how valid the historical context is, but the author of this "Eat Right 4 Your Type" makes a compelling argument, using personality traits to back up his claims.  I'm just happy that coffee is good for me. 


On a completely different note, I chatted with ChoyShin yesterday and after some conversation about 08, she said:

"Haru? He's 08?!"

because my friend posted

Since Cliff, who rarely posts anymore, posted, I feel compelled to also write about my recent doings.  It's been quite a tumultuous past month.  I began a relationship with a long-time friend that I am enjoying so much.  It's been two years since dating, but for various reasons, I feel so confident and comfortable in this relationship.  But I'll save this story for another time.

Starbucks Green tea latte (soy milk), no syrup.  The closest thing you'll get to a genuine japanese maccha.

Other than that, I was busy with a lot of May Contribution activities.  Since last year, I've made it a commitment to do participate in special contribution with a deeper sense of purpose and appreciation.  As a result, I've received a lot of benefits.  In fact, toward the end of the month, because I my life felt scrambled with job searching, activities, work, and other things, I had to sit myself down in front of the Gohonzon to chant about it all.  About the success of my relationships, finding a job, and finishing out my current stint with my judge in the best way possible.  Most of all, I was chanting for better financial fortune.  

I did a 久しぶりの 10-hour toso two weekends ago and I made some difficult decisions regarding my job search.  Without going too much in detail, I decided that I don't want to compromise what I wanted to do with my career.  I found myself getting so desperate to find a job that I came closer and closer to thinking that I would simply take whatever I could find.  After my daimoku, though, I made a firm decision to forego applying to a non-profit that I was confident i would get if I applied.  Ironically, a few days after I made that decision, the position was filled.  However, a few days after that, I received a [informal] offer from a place that I interviewed with 4 months ago. Out of the blue.  Now, I will be signing the papers on Tuesday, starting my new job in a month.  Daimoku!

Recently I've been learning the importance of appreciation.  Buddhism teaches reverence for the dignity of life, all life - regardless of how that life is manifested.  So, even the life of someone who is causing you problems  is deserving of this kind of respect (which, of course, doesn't mean that his/her actions are acceptable).  Buddhism also teaches that these problems in your environment that you may confront are opportunities to find/develop your own Buddha nature, the inherent condition that we all possess and which is also the reason for the respect we have for all life.  Anyway, I've realized that I wasn't appreciating this buddha nature in everybody, and instead, taking problems that I associated with them as insurmountable and as fact. When I started appreciating though, I came to realize that I was ignorant to the fact that this was an opportunity to reach down deeper in my life to bring out the best possible conditions of my life and challenge the situation.   

Anyway, in other news, I reached nana-kyuu in Karate!

whenever I get around

Whenever I get around to writing these darn things, I always forget what I wanted to write. I have to remind myself by looking at the random pictures I've taken with my cell phone.  So here we are.

I went to Dick's Sporting Goods to grab some equipment I needed for my karate tournament that I had last saturday, and I staggered when I saw the prices of these darn mouth pieces.  Since when did mouthpieces cost 50 dollars?  I couldn't even find a decent pair of simple mono-colored ones.  No, Nike, I don't want people to see a swoosh when I smile.

These last three pics are from the tournament venue in York, Pennsylvania. I felt slightly out of place when I was driving up there early in the morning up I-83 because there was just nothing around.  I felt like I was on some sort of frontier ... yet it was inhabited.  I later learned of the presence of many Amish and Moorish people.  But as I ventured into the plains, I felt somewhat at peace. It was such as beautiful site to take in, outside the chaos of the cities and industry.

That particular location was some golf course that was decked out with snow tubing hills and some conference centers. I also won the tournament. Yes. I have a few other tournaments coming up so it's making me try that much harder at my classes.

These two gals I've known for quite some time, since they were toddlers. Their parents helped raise me into the YMD I am today.  I went to visit their family in Lancaster right after my tournament, and I'm really glad I did. My alterior motive was to get some encouragement from the dad . . . and wow . . . . If you want to find someone who's fighting for kosenrufu (and remember, in the community Amish!), this is the guy.  I felt so honored to even be in his presence . . .

Finally, a family friend of mine came back from Japan with a gift that I've been wanting for quite some time. I have been using my beads (bottom) for several years, and the ends have been coming apart.  In fact, one of the ends just went kung fu on me and just completely came apart. I received the ones pictured on the top. I figure I can use March 16 as a good date to start with my new beads. This sounds kind of ridiculous, but I am going to be a little sad parting with my worn out beads. It's been with me through the toughest years of my life . . .

By the way, the new ones are these massive beads that just went out of style, lol. The oversizeness is still in style, but the cloth ends are not. Nowadays, many of the YMD in Japan are using temari-style balls, which really do look cool.  But I really like the dark color of these new beads. Seems like I've matured or something. Ha! As if . . .

a 2012 day

Dear future Eric:

Merry belated Christmas and Happy New Year! On the second day of 2012, I put my most important lesson of 2011 into action - persistence. I used my day off work today to get things done - all the mendokusai things that I would always put off until later - only to realize that I needed more time to get them done. 

I started off my day cleaning my room - a task that never seems to finish. Yet day I feel rejuvenated because of the amount of space I freed up . It just makes cleansed! Then I quickly went to store and finished my trial contacts and purchased new ones. Two things out of the way.

Then, I decided to go to the dermatologist to finally get some questions answered about this perpetual acne problem that's been lingering since bar prep. I didn't get many answers, but I did manage to meet with the doctor in just 30 min - a request that would not have been granted but for me persistence in scheduling an appointment asap. It was quite bewildering given that there were many people in the lobby waiting for their turn. It helps to be persistent.

When I went to the pharmacy to get my prescription filled, I was flabbergasted by the price. To put some darn cream on my back, it apparently costs $650. Now, to be fair, I was paying out of pocket, but the most I've ever paid for medicine without insurance is $150. I went home disappointed, but then once again, I felt compelled to fix the problem. Now, normally, prior to 2011, I would have paid the total, went home, and bit the bullet. Instead, I went back and eventually lowered it to $200. Once I have my prescription insurance, it will obviously lower even more. Again, it helps to be persistent.

I also went to go get my phone fixed at Verizon, a company not known for its customer service. I've dreaded my visits to that store because they're slow and they usually have reps do not know a thing about cell phones. This time around it was no different. In fact, after i complained about my phone not working well, one of the dudes told me to come back when the problem got worse. So as I was strolling back to the door, I decided not to be victimized by the incessant incompetency of these people. I mean, I didn't get mad, but I just decided that I would pick who I spoke to and bam - the girl ended up being the manager and helping me to get a new phone to arrive tomorrow, all in about 5 min.

Earlier that day, I had also called to pick up two new suits that I bought, and was told to just hold. The dude eventually told me he would call me back because it was busy at that time. He also added that my suits wouldn't be in until a few days later. But by the time I finished all my other errands, he hadn't called. So, on my way back from Verizon, I passed by the JoBanks, but I consciously drove passed it. Again, though, I U-turned and went back. I spoke to the guy, and what do you know - my two suits were there. 

I'm not exactly sure why I wrote this post. I guess it's to show myself that I actually grew some in 2011.

I'm excited for 2012. This past weekend has been one of fulfillment and motivation. I spoke with many of my friends over Skype and I capped off my break with Sensei's HQ meeting. I also received a letter from my friend in Japan, who I had written to a month back. I had written 5 pages, and I got back less than a page. It just made me realize how much others are busy fighting. 

So, onward. This year is when I will change the circumstances of my job karma and once again throw myself into the battlefield, full of vigor and youth.

Sincerely,

Eric Kunimoto

lawyer

On December 14, 2011, I became a lawyer. A full-on licensed attorney. In fact, just the other day, I drafted a letter with Esq. at the end of my name. I felt this weird sense of fulfillment, more than I felt at my swearing-in ceremony. I'm sure that excitement will last but a few days.

There you have it. But I remember mentioning to someone that, after fighting for such a long time for something, once you get it, it sort of seems so natural - as if you were always going to do it from the start. That is, if you actually put in the faith, endurance, and courage to do it - no matter how grueling it may be - that process is what you remember more than anything. The results sort of just happen, and sometimes too fast for you to really know what just happened.

But that's how it should be. It makes me more humble. And it confirms the reality that, in the end, status and titles are secondary to your character. So here I am, Eric Kunimoto - the same son of my parents, and the same stubborn yet persistent middle-child from Ellicott City. Thank you for everyone who have allowed me to become who I am. I promise to be a contributing and happy lawyer.

Boss took us out to the new Phillips at the Harbor. Excellent!

Of course, with every new ending, there is a new beginning. There are many things in front of me, such as my employment situation next year, etc. And maybe it's because I'm on winter break, or maybe it's because I'm high on tea, but I feel very excited for this year.

In response to a few messages I sent Sensei over the course of Bar Prep and the Bar results, I received a message and picture from Shinanomachi, from him, which reads:

共々に

創価の同志と

三世まで

断固勝ちゆく

勝利王たれ

The message also includes a beautiful picture of Mount Fuji. I will definitely frame this - it is a life treasure from my mentor.

And am I the only one who like these CMs??

eric's story as of late

Aw man--- It's been a while. I have so much to say that I feel like I would do a great injustice to the stories I have to share if I try explaining them in detail. For the reason, I'll attempt to be concise.

First let memorialize what I have on my mind at the moment. I receive my results for the Maryland Bar Examination tomorrow evening, and I'm anxious in both a good and bad way. In fact, I don't really know how I feel. Obviously if it's good news I will be ecstatic; if it's bad news, I will feel like crap for a few days. Right now, I don't really know how I'm feeling. So I'm going to chant after this post is done with.

Now off to my adventures over the past few weeks. First with the randomness. I've been looking for some high quality wallpapers for my phone, and I find myself looking for landscape photos in Japan over and over. In a moment of indecisiveness, I ended going with a default abstract wallpaper by HTC. But here are some of the pictures I went through:

Most of those pictures are of Yokohama, others are from Odaiba or Okinawa. What'dya think?

A few weeks back, we had an outing for UM Law's APALSA group. The meeting was nice, but it was weird to consider myself an alumni. The more I think about it, the harder it is for me to accept the fact that I'm [supposed to be] contributing to society as an employed citizen. Still I feel that I'm in academic mode when I'm at work, and I'm still surprised to receive my check every two weeks because it seems like something I should be doing anyway. We met up at some chic place along the harbor with unlimited beer...

I forget what this was called, but it was mighty good. The avocado especially.

Also sometime in the last few weeks I had the opportunity to support Dean Carter's lecture at the D.C. Culture Center. I supported behind the scenes as Gajokai, although I was technically outside helping with parking in the crazy city that is DC. Fortunately the weather was pleasant, so I was more than happy to be assigned there. Here are some warm photos around the area I was responsible:

I don't remember when I took the following random photo, but I remember quite well the joyful experience I had of downing this Wendy's Frosty. I remember passing a Wendy's on the street, continuing to drive for a couple minutes, and consciously turning back around to satisfy my craving. I do not regret my choice, and I suppose that's why I saved this picture on my phone.

This is a caramel frosty. So much sugar...

I'm getting kind of tired of writing this post, so I'll stop here. It's amazing how tired I get. I'm thinking of enrolling in some karate classes - it's something I've enjoyed throughout my life but nothing I did consistently. Now I'm making some cash, maybe this would be a good investment, both for my health and for my enjoyment.

The last thing I"ll share is that it was Kimiko's birthday a few days ago, and we celebrated by going to Six Flags. We originally scheduled to go on Saturday, but it hailed that day and I'm sure the park wasn't even open. We ended up going the following day, and while it was enjoyable, it was damn cold. Afterwards we ate at TGIFridays, my first ever. It was good.

Jamie at all those ribs herself. The puffy jacket doesn't help her image here.

素直になれなくて

is the name of the song that I'm hooked on right now. Actually, I think it's the PV gets me - the lights and dramatic angled shots and all. The song has that winter-y feel, which is still my favorite season. It also reminds me of highschool for some reason, when I was free from the shackles of reality - it makes me feel "free and easy."

 

This weekend was pretty interesting. I was in DC half of the day for SGI meetings, then back to Baltimore to bring a YMD back, back home to Ellicott City, then back to Baltimore to hang out with Mika. We unintentionally visited the Fells Point festival, a small matsuri-like event. It was nice and peaceful until we ended up near the water, where the bars are. People used the festival as an excuse to get drunk and act belligerent.

On Sunday, some youth and I presented some stuff at kofu gongyo, then later on, I had dinner with some other youth members in Baltimore. Good times :)

my life [recently] in words

Alrigh~t. Here's a post to that catches myself up on a lot of things. These past couple of weeks have been physically demanding, given the demand of work and my participation in SGI activities. With regards to work, a lot of it has to do with simply managing the docket and the schedule for the court and chambers so that my Judge is ready to go and do his thing. Of course, while I'm doing that, I'm also responsible for substantive legal work, and balancing everything, I found, is quite the task. That requires me to let go of any doubts I have in my own mind that I am incapable of finishing everything - something I deal with everyday.

But that's also the reason why I enjoy participating in my buddhist activities. As much as it takes to go to a meeting after work, I enjoy it because I have a chance to refresh my determination. I found that if I concentrate on my work to an extreme, I begin very easily losing a sense of purpose. It's hard to realize that when you're simply thinking that you have to finish this or that, but there's really no end to that way of thinking. It's been important to me to develop a context for my dedication to my work and to refocus my determination on fulfilling my intents.

A moment to appreciate life!

As a way of example, I had the honor of helping lead a Gosho lecture today after getting off work late. The Gosho that we studied is "The Sutra of True Requital." Aside from learning what requital meant and how it's really pronounced, my study of this particular correspondence helped me to renew my sense of mission, and just as importantly, my day to day goals. This particular gosho made me realize that a sense of appreciation builds in oneself a greater purpose for one's life, and as a consequence, helps us reveal our own buddhahood. That's counter-intuitive to the way we think of dealing with despair - western thought teaches us to feel better about ourselves and to cope with your own sense of identity. While that of course helps, Buddhism teaches us that by realizing the kindness and compassion of others - no matter how small or indiscernible - that teaches us to value our own life. In other words, it's a realization that we make that we are truly and inherently noble. So the act of acknowledging the compassion of others - the first step to appreciation - is a basis for own happiness.

So I've been enjoying myself. In fact, my Judge was kind enough to invite me to Maryland Legal Aid Society's 100th anniversary celebration. To say the least, this was an amazing event. In all honesty, I rediscovered the power that the law can serve in helping the disadvantaged. I learned that my Judge is particularly a great example of dedication to help those in need, and for that reason alone, my job is fulfilling and satisfying. The open bar and the waterfront location also helped to make the event awesome.

Unlike the past few months, I have a few bucks to spend now, so I spent last saturday, before the Legal Aid Celebration, checking out a brunch place in Baltimore - the well-known "Blue Moon Cafe." I had the stacked hashbrowns with crab and cheese. That was pretty darn good.