bank

To add to my multitude of troubles, I pretty much have no money to draw from the bank. I'm living on pocket cash and I'm losing a lot of the benefits that come with keeping a certain level of money in my account. What that meant for today: scavenging my desk drawer for gift cards. Lucky for me, I found a few goods ones.

Cheesecake Factory - $34 (Thank you Section D students, I miss being your TA)

Best Buy - $15 (I will be using you in the future for a cell phone car charger)

BORDERS - $25 (I'm going to you tomorrow for some coffee and study)

BORDERS - $25 (that might allow me to put in two weeks there)

Macy's - Unknown amount (I need a bag for work - though I'm sure I'll feel compelled to drop $100 for that)

I've been doing my best to be frugal, so, for example, instead of buying new suits, I looked through my existing suits like a mad man to see if they could still be worn. I went to the taillor, realized I had gotten fat, but then came out satisfied knowing that the nice Korean tailors (really nice!) could do a 1-inch let-out to the delight of my waist. 

After thinking too deeply about how I would use the Macy's card with an unknown value, I thought using it on a bag would be a waste, considering my dad has a bunch. To my dismay, he threw out many of his old ones, and the ones that were stashed away in the catacombs were beyond pretentious.

Ironically, this one would make me look like a banker, or that I should at least be sporting a Jaeger. To be fair, my dad received this as a gift in the past year or so, and apparently, it's price tag is no downer. Not a fan of the brown, though. But alas, my wallet speaks the truth and I may have to rock this banker briefcase for the first month.

On another note, I spoke with Kimiko over the past few days and she'll be attending JHU starting this fall. Well actually, starting this late summer to get a headstart on a few things. She'll staying at our place starting sometime during the first week of August.  I'm so happy for and proud of her!

Now it's 6:20am and I'm not really sure why I couldn't fall asleep. I was literally laying in my bed with my eyes closed for an hour to no avail. Then I played SPADES on my cell phone for an hour to force myself to sleep, but yet again with no success. Then I decided - "forget it" - I might as well just study when I'm awake. So here I am tapping away before I re-commence. I forgot to mention that I have get a small surgical operation in a few hours. Woe is me.

Vicious cycle

Study
Stress
Eat more
Sleep at awkward times
Body crumbling
Little exercise
Inefficient study
Sleep less
Repeat

kinda stressed, but inching back

Sorry if I haven't responded to your email or have made conversations uncomfortable short. I've been focusing on getting back on schedule, and overall, I'm doing pretty well. But due to the speed at which I'm crunching through the material, I feel like I'm missing out on digging deeply into the material. Yet, I've come to accept that this is the nature of the beast. No one can possibly master everything, and you get tired, and worn out, then you sometimes see the bright light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday, I received an 89% on a practice multiple choice, then this morning at 5am, I got a 43%. I'm sure the sleep deprivation contributed to it. 

I'm determined to get completely caught back up by this Saturday, and it's looking hopeful. I have to remember that this is an endurance battle. And my health issues are reminding me that I have to rest. But I also have to make sure I sleep and get up at the right times. 

All that said, I know my thoughts aren't coming out write on this screen so I think I'll just stop here. Maybe some Busta will bring me back to life.

rewind (study music 2)

I've been pretty productive today listening to old school music I grew up with. Busta Rhymes, Kriss Kross, Biggie - what more can I say. Brings back memories! Whatever happened to skilled hip-hop...

勝利２

Today, I accepted a job offer from a judge at the Baltimore City Circuit Court to start work as a law clerk this August! It's been a long time coming, but through some faith, persistence, and hard work, I obtained my first full-time professional job as a clerk. I feel like I've been saying this a lot, but I am so indebted to my family, friends, and fellow SGI buds. Now to pass this Bar.

there goes godzilla

I've been scavenging for new songs to add to playlists when I remembered the old tunes we rocked out to on our trip to Yellowstone when I was still in middle school. Geysers, bears and caves! Daniel, Justin, and I had the beauty of listening to Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" and Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." How many times did we listen to this song on repeat?

bar food and sohokai

That is, bar prep food. I've been kinda bad with my eating habits this summer given my schedule, but I figured that, with my sudden degrading health condition, I should probably watch what I eat. Today, during that time of the day between lunch and dinner, I ate some チャーハン, しゃけ with 生たまご. Beautiful, isn't it?

I also had that urge to drink milk since the malicious attack by MILKIS, so I decided to drink some lactose free milk with honey after a friend recommended it. It helped me to go to sleep, which was good considering I couldn't fall asleep. Now all I need is some exercise. Will try to get on that tomorrow.

Went to our SUA alumni meeting (Sohokai). Great to see eternal friends during this dreadful experience.

Alright, still catching up, but feeling a bit more confident with my studies.

bar prep day whatever

I'm well into my bar prep - in fact, my course is telling me that I'm nearly 1/4 complete. Time flies. I've got a lot of information crammed in my cranium somewhere, though I don't know yet if they're just as readily available to me when 7.26 rolls around. I can only continue to have faith, and study like mad.

Bill came over to chant with me before work today. How fortunate am I? I have people visiting me at 6am to chant together. And I have friends all over the world supporting me. While this summer will continue to be intense, I can't help but think of how rare it is to have such friends and family.

Susan also went out of her way to send me a hand-written letter with this quote:

Your character is determined by how you challenge yourself, and how you wrestle with your problems, in a way that is unique to you. This is how character is polished and becomes diamond-like. - Daisaku Ikeda 

These past few days were stressful, however. I thought that Sales would be one of the easier lessons since it's a subset of Contracts. To my great disbelief, the lecture was severely disorganized and the lecturer was horrible. If you're going to make me listen to you for 4 hours, make it fun, please ~ ! I'll be done Crim Law, Crim Pro, Contracts, and Sales by tonight. Then I'll take a "milestone" exam to determine where I fall relative to others.

I've been groggy everyday since I stayed up late one night, but today it's gotten better since I had to wake up to chant with Bill. I think the medicine is also wearing me down, complemented with the lack of exercise. Need to step outside once in a while. Except that it's 100 degrees, literally.

cleansing

Since my brother came back, he's been cleaning out his room - the same room that I shoved all my storage in. Now that he's back, all of that storage was pushed back into my room, thus beginning my day-long cleaning ordeal. While sifting through boxes full of grade-school drawings, tests, and schoolwork was tiring, I nonetheless enjoyed my journey back in time.

Young Justin sleeping in the shinkansen. I used to be good at drawing...

3rd grade...

One of many Howard County sports I played. Who knows when this was...

Karate Do-gi patches, wrestling varsity patches, prom pictures

A complete mockery of an epic movie I made in middle school.

Senior week photos ... good times!

There's a copy of a U.S. history test I took back in middle school that was in my self-made "binder of excellence" that depicted our best work. That test isn't pictured, but it was quite hilarious. It was a fill-in-the-blank and I had gotten a number of questions wrong (which begs the question - why did I include that in my binder of excellence?). One of those questions I answered incorrectly read:

"The first people to came from Europe were _______, who later became property owners in the original American colonies."

My answer was "Rich White Men." Minus one point. My teacher must have been a white man.

While I don't remember who my teacher was, looking back on all this history, I felt like I remembered myself again. I once used to be good at drawing, and I received a number of recognitions for art, PE, and English. lol. Those things were small but, looking at it now, I appreciate how much my teachers and my family cared for me. Outside of those three subjects, I wasn't really that bright of a kid. I remember coming back home bringing back a 5th grade math exam with less than 50%. I didn't think too much of it at the time, but I fondly remember my parents becoming extremely concerned and making multiplication and division flash cards for me. 

Also spoke with Emiko yesterday and shared my thoughts on some of this stuff I found in these treasure chests. And I finally got to speak with an 08er without having to rush. That was really relaxing. 

I later threw out most of my old exams, etc, thinking that if I hold on to them now, I would never be able to throw them out. I also took the time to do the same for pictures and memories of relationships I've been stuck on for too long. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and for her (and to purge myself of all this unjustified animosity) and to move on! That's not to say that I have forgotten about those memories or even that I want to, but that I've decided to embrace that experience for one of growth for everyone involved. I was chanting to find a way to overcome that negativity, and so it's funny how I had the opportunity to engage in these sorts of conspicuous acts of cleansing. Great feeling :) 

milkis

I've got the Hives! In my case, apparently due to allergy+stress. I'm not sure that I'm stressed, but maybe my mind is lying to me. As for the allergy, I never knew I had one, at least not to MILKIS. You know, the korean soft drink that eerily tastes like Mitsuya Cider with a punch of Yakult. If you don't know what I'm talking, those drinks are pictured below:

I first thought my reaction was to the medicine I am taking, but I had been taking that for a week now. That's when I knew the MILKIS was the culprit. It looks delicious - and indeed it was - but it has caused me great pain (and itching). I can no longer drink this savoury beverage because it includes milk. I'm lactose intolerant, so I've been drinking lactose-free alternatives for my dairy needs, but I assume that because of my avoidance, consuming milk powder this time caused a more severe response. So MILKIS is officially out. So now I'm taking a total of six different prescribed medications.