[somewhat] back in action

Finally fighting back against a long-lasting lull. I was really encouraged after attending an East Territory YMD leaders' conference on MLK day, and although there were the persistant and somewhat annoying "yeeeeaaaaah"s, I sincerely enjoyed the vigor and determination everyone brought.

Two kids playing during at the Baltimore Community Center my Gajokai Shift.

I'm beginning to better understand that Buddhism is practice for oneself and practice for others. Despite some mental and spiritual setback, I find myself with more energy and ichinen because I'm getting myself to shakubuku. It's difficult to explain, but when you open yourself up and share your life and faith with others, it forces you to become stronger. Well, you just lose time to be complaining about your own circumstances. 

OMYBUDDHA

I've been reading the New Human Revolution over from Volume 1 (I really only got to Volume 5/6) and President Ikeda states to a newly appointed district leader in Hawaii - 

"Kosenrufu mean to pray and take action for the happiness of others and thereby create a supreme good path of good fortune. When you make kosenrufu your life's objective and pray to excel at your work in order to show proof of that goal's validity, you will be opening the way for your own victory and good fortune. . . . 

"I ask you to please spend your life from now on a district chief who, together with me, lives for the members' happiness. Most people find it is all they can do to worry about their own happiness and that of their immediate family. It is, therefore, no easy feat to live for the happiness of your friends and fellow members, for the sake of the Law and for kosenrufu, while at the same time grappling with your own personal problems.

"The fact is, however, that when you worry, pray and struggle for the sake of others, you are proving by your very actions that you have transcended the bounds of your own individual concerns and are opening the way for your own splendid human revolution.

"The organization will change and develop in any number of ways depending on the ichinen, or deep-seated determination, of the central figure. People will follow a leader who always fights for them. But they will eventually perceive the real nature of someone interested only in personal fame or fortune and will stop supporting that person."

Yes. So I've determined to do a shakubuku by March 16. I'm confident that my other personal and professional goals will also fall into place.

I have been eating healthy for quite some time.

Except that day. I was craving grease.

The only caveat to all of this is that I've gotten sick! I've been flirting with the flu for about 2 weeks, and finally, the first stage of it is in full swing. I woke up with major congestion, a nasty cough, and got minor headaches throughout the day. Decided to stay in today instead of attend a district meeting. 

DK6 - 1. Eric - 1/2.

when...

Did I become so stale? I used to have pride in my passion. My youth gave of power, and my faith gave me purpose. Why have I lost that fire? Why do I feel like I live day by day? It's not necessarily cynicism, but a lack of energy. I feel like I'm looking for the easiest way out instead of the most valuable way through.

I see my job as my job and because of it, it's become a chore that I've simply gotten better at. Where has the Eric from SUA gone? I'm longer passionate, just stubborn for convenience sake.

When did I become so comprising?

When did I become so undisciplined? In a certain sense, I have more time than I've ever had as a student, yet I've gotten less done. I think some of it is just perception but I've finally come to terms with myself that I've become soft on myself. As small as it was, I enjoyed receiving the "challenger" award my senior year. Now I have way too many excuses. I've gotten out of shape. I eat unhealthy food. I don't practice my karate on my free time.

When have I gotten so caught up with others' success at the cost of sacrificing focusing on mine?

DK6 1. Eric 0.

a 2012 day

Dear future Eric:

Merry belated Christmas and Happy New Year! On the second day of 2012, I put my most important lesson of 2011 into action - persistence. I used my day off work today to get things done - all the mendokusai things that I would always put off until later - only to realize that I needed more time to get them done. 

I started off my day cleaning my room - a task that never seems to finish. Yet day I feel rejuvenated because of the amount of space I freed up . It just makes cleansed! Then I quickly went to store and finished my trial contacts and purchased new ones. Two things out of the way.

Then, I decided to go to the dermatologist to finally get some questions answered about this perpetual acne problem that's been lingering since bar prep. I didn't get many answers, but I did manage to meet with the doctor in just 30 min - a request that would not have been granted but for me persistence in scheduling an appointment asap. It was quite bewildering given that there were many people in the lobby waiting for their turn. It helps to be persistent.

When I went to the pharmacy to get my prescription filled, I was flabbergasted by the price. To put some darn cream on my back, it apparently costs $650. Now, to be fair, I was paying out of pocket, but the most I've ever paid for medicine without insurance is $150. I went home disappointed, but then once again, I felt compelled to fix the problem. Now, normally, prior to 2011, I would have paid the total, went home, and bit the bullet. Instead, I went back and eventually lowered it to $200. Once I have my prescription insurance, it will obviously lower even more. Again, it helps to be persistent.

I also went to go get my phone fixed at Verizon, a company not known for its customer service. I've dreaded my visits to that store because they're slow and they usually have reps do not know a thing about cell phones. This time around it was no different. In fact, after i complained about my phone not working well, one of the dudes told me to come back when the problem got worse. So as I was strolling back to the door, I decided not to be victimized by the incessant incompetency of these people. I mean, I didn't get mad, but I just decided that I would pick who I spoke to and bam - the girl ended up being the manager and helping me to get a new phone to arrive tomorrow, all in about 5 min.

Earlier that day, I had also called to pick up two new suits that I bought, and was told to just hold. The dude eventually told me he would call me back because it was busy at that time. He also added that my suits wouldn't be in until a few days later. But by the time I finished all my other errands, he hadn't called. So, on my way back from Verizon, I passed by the JoBanks, but I consciously drove passed it. Again, though, I U-turned and went back. I spoke to the guy, and what do you know - my two suits were there. 

I'm not exactly sure why I wrote this post. I guess it's to show myself that I actually grew some in 2011.

I'm excited for 2012. This past weekend has been one of fulfillment and motivation. I spoke with many of my friends over Skype and I capped off my break with Sensei's HQ meeting. I also received a letter from my friend in Japan, who I had written to a month back. I had written 5 pages, and I got back less than a page. It just made me realize how much others are busy fighting. 

So, onward. This year is when I will change the circumstances of my job karma and once again throw myself into the battlefield, full of vigor and youth.

Sincerely,

Eric Kunimoto