missing something and facebook

I am missing something. As much as I enjoy the idea of practicing law, I can't seem to get myself all excited over the idea of it right now. I'm not quite sure why.

Maybe it's because I have this perpetual desire to be doing something unique and creative - which is why Studying, in and of itself is enjoyable. Studying the law is enjoyable. And to the extent that practicing law requires constant education, it's enjoyable. But I haven't gotten there yet. I'm doing criminal law stuff until the end of December. It was fun in the beginning because it was new - you know, "unique and creative." But now that I've gotten some hang of it, it's becoming somewhat dull.

But I don't know that this is something that I can simply cure by a change in subject matter. It's not like, "Hey, if I practice Civil law, it will all be better." No, I don't think that't the case. I'm also scared to say that maybe I just don't enjoy practicing law as much as a I thought. That said, I haven't even actually started practicing law, so maybe I'm just thinking too much.

But I I think there's something else outside of the professional field that I'm yearning for. You know, like hobbies. Recently, I find myself not knowing what to do with the precious free time that I have. It wasn't so much a problem until this past thanksgiving weekend - a long weekend - when I didn't have any work to do (well, that's a lie, but whatever) and sat at my desk thinking how boring of a person I am. It was so bad that I forced myself to do things, like read professional books, which turned out not to be so fun in the end.

So I decided to push myself to do something that I knew that I would enjoy. I enrolled back into a Karate class. Well, I'm not fully enrolled yet, but I should start my first few classes next week. I was hesitant because I didn't want to start my rank all over again from the beginning, but then I thought, "if I don't do this now, I will regret it." Sort of like what Marika was thinking recently.

I did some karate back before college, and I also wrestled for a few years. I knew I had talent, but I never pursued them. So let's do this!!

Martial arts was one of the few things I had confidence in.  On the other hand, one thing that I've sucked at, but I've enjoyed, is poetry. So in order to get myself out of my "I don't know know what to do with myself" mess, I'm going to start reading the poetry that I like.

And so maybe I should also return to facebook. I think a lot of my distress is just this feeling of losing touch with the world, even if its a digital one.

Note to self: Cut hair.

a gentleman

The other day, during a conversation about the legal profession, my friend asked me what an "Esquire" was. I looked it up.

Esquire. 

noun. 1 - An unofficial title of respect, having no precise significance . . . In Britain, applied to a commoner considered to have gained the social position of a gentleman.

At least I'll be a gentleman. I will be of no precise significance mid-December.

kinda tired, but not of books

Oh man, my energy levels are up and down recently. I feel like one day, I'm pretty energized; the very next day, I feel sapped. I'm not very sure what it is, since I'm getting a pretty consistent sleep. Maybe I need to sleep earlier?

Actually, I know what it is. I haven't been exercising, but it's been hard since my surgery to get up and just ... play some basketball (aside from the fact that no one plays anymore).

But I pump myself up artificially sometimes by listening to upbeat music in the car prior to my meeting. It helps, but I really have to try to pump myself up - which is, in it of itself, kind of depressing lol.

I'm sure I'm way behind on this, but Tahereh Mafi, an underclassman of mine at SUA, published her book a while ago (at the age of 23...) and is all the rave recently in the teen-fiction world. In fact, Fox bought the film rights to her book "Shatter Me." This is really inspiring. She apparently wrote the book for fun, which just baffles my mind. Check out the summary of her and the book here.